The Zen Zone: Stress Management for Busy People

Let’s be real: we live in a world that glorifies busyness. The hustle. The grind.

Many of us live to work, rather than the other way around. We forget that life is supposed to be about living and forget to have fun along the way what we’ve come to think of as our goal — happiness, retirement, that cruise we want to do when we’re older, insert your dream here.

We take on more and more, promising ourselves it will be temporary, just for now, we’ll rest tomorrow.

Only tomorrow never comes, does it?

The thing is, overloading ourselves leads to stress. Saying yes when we mean no leads to stress. Not giving ourselves time to rest and recharge leads to stress.

And while we can’t afford short-term stress, prolonged stress can have devastating effects on our mental and physical health. It’s been linked to serious health problems ranging from weight loss to weight gain, insomnia, depression, diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and many other potentially debilitating problems.

So how do you limit the impact of stress on your mental and physical health?

Analyse

Before you can fix a problem, you need to understand what’s causing it.

Grab a journal and analyse what’s going on. What’s stressing you out? Is it work? Is it a person in your life? Is it a lack of time to do everything you feel you need to do? Is it all those things and more?

Write it all down, get it all out.

Avoid or Change

Some sources of stress can be avoided. For example, there is a particular blind corner in my town that I hate driving around, because the layout means cars appear out of nowhere. My anxiety skyrockets any time I have to traverse it.

So, I don’t. I take an extra minute on my drive home to take a different route and avoid that corner altogether.

The same may apply to people in your life who make you feel stressed. Some people leave you drained after spending time with them. That friend who does nothing but unload her stress on you and never gives you a chance to get a word in edgewise? Consider being unavailable next time they suggest a catch up. You’ll feel better for it.

When avoiding the stressor isn’t an option, think about what, if anything, you can do to change it. If your job is pushing you to burnout because your colleague left and you’re being expected to do their job as well as your own, it may be time to sit your boss down for a conversation about your job description or start hunting for another job.

If your housework is getting on top of you because you’re juggling too much between work and family commitments, can you enlist some help? Hire a cleaner for a few hours a week, enlist your partner if you have one, or swap babysitting hours with a friend to give you both some extra time.

Adapt or Reframe

Sometimes we can’t avoid or change a stressor.

In those situations, think about what you can do to adapt to the situation. Are you stressing yourself out by setting perfectionistic standards for yourself? Think about what you’d expect from a good friend in the situation you’re in and work on being more compassionate to yourself. All you’re doing by setting unachievable standards for yourself is setting yourself up for failure.

Are you obsessing over things that may never happen, are in the past, or that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things? Work on your tendency to overthink; try meditation, grounding techniques, or breathing exercises.

Are you focusing on the negative? Try to reframe situations and see the silver lining. A traffic jam can be an opportunity to listen to some favourite music or be alone with your thoughts for a bit. Rain when you wanted to dry your washing outside can be a perfect opportunity to get an inside project done, build a blanket fort with the kids, or have a relaxed few hours on the couch with that book you’ve been meaning to read.

A daily gratitude practice is an excellent way to train yourself to see the positive and reduce stress. Think of three things you’re grateful for when you first wake up in the morning and last thing at night. No matter who you are or what calamities are taking place in your life, everyone has something to be grateful for, even if it’s only the fact that you got through the day before. 

When you focus on being grateful for the roof over your head, the grass under your feet, and the breath in your lungs, life has a way of feeling a little less overwhelming.

You first

The underlying cause of most cases of burnout is the very human tendency to put ourselves last. Not prioritising your self-care usually means that self-care simply doesn’t happen. Work, housework, kids, everything else comes first.

It’s a mindset that must change if you’re to address the stress in your life and prevent serious issues.

Think of the advice dispensed to parents in an airplane briefing: in the event of an emergency, put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. Why do they say that? Because you’re no good to someone else if you’re incapacitated.

Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Get out of the habit of saying I’ll do that if I have time, and start scheduling it in. Planned to go to the gym after work? Make that commitment to yourself and don’t be cajoled into going out for drinks or staying later at the office instead. No, thank you, I have plans is an acceptable answer, you don’t have to elaborate.

Take breaks. Ten minutes of deep breathing, a short walk, some stretching, or some meditation does more to help you recharge and focus than all the coffee in the world.

Move. Especially if your work involves a lot of sitting, movement is crucial to staying happy and healthy. Go for a walk, dance, exercise. Just move your body.

Sleep. Long term sleep deprivation is incredibly damaging to your health. Don’t be tempted to stay up til 1am if you know you have to be up at 6. Set a fixed bedtime for yourself that guarantees you a decent amount of sleep (ideally seven to eight hours per night) and stick to it. Don’t fall into the “I’ll catch up on sleep over the weekend” trap, because the truth is that you cannot catch up. Every deficit adds up.

If you have young children, there’s a high chance you don’t do these things for yourself, blaming a lack of time. But think about this: how will your children learn to take care of themselves if you don’t model doing the same? Think about ways you can either involve young children in your self-care; they can follow along with your yoga, come on your walk, and learn how to meditate. If that’s not an option, consider a babysitting swap with a friend to give you both much-needed self-care time each week.

It's hard to learn to put yourself first, trust me, I know. It’s hard to prioritise yourself to the point you don’t feel guilty about doing something for yourself when society demonises self-care as selfish.

But no one is served by you burning out. Not you, not your family, not your work.

And who will take care of you if you don’t?

Anastasia x